It was an angel, or a demon dressed in an angel's guise. She appeared to me in sleep, he flowing blonde hair hanging down over my bare body as she climbed over me. "I know what you lack in this life," she murmured, touching my lips softly with her fingertip. "I know all to know, and in you I see a life defined by struggle, a soul yearning for peace. "

I stared mutely at her and very slowly, I nodded.

"I will bring you peace, or rather I will bring peace to you. First, listen. And second, obey. And then repeat until you have what you seek. Tomorrow," she straddled my stomach, "you will find a book on Flemish Naval History."

The evening, I made a trip to the city's central library and, scanning the digits on the shelf walls, saw the most intriguing woman. She was in her mid-forties, fit, brown hair done up in a braid. But there was something about her, in the way she turned to smile at me, the demure slant of her head, the light in her eyes - one of those rare people with whom you feel you could fall effortlessly in love with. She introduced herself as Lily and we talked for nearly an hour, finally making dinner plans before parting, at her apartment the next evening.

That night, the angel returned. "Take a bottle of Akvavit." She leaned close, "You will not kiss her. Under no circumstances will you kiss her."

Lily glanced at me with pained astonishment when I entered the next evening, bearing my bottle of Akvavit, which it turned out was a liquor popular in Norway and Sweden, and nowhere else. Holding it out to her, I said only, "On a hunch."

"Oh, sweet Jesus. Where did you ever?"

"I expected you to break out into a Norwegian diatribe on manners."

"It would have been a diatribe on Norwegian manners, but that can wait. Have a glass?" I struggled to sip the rancid vodka without gagging while Lily downed her decanter in a gulp. "Dinner?" she asked.

Dinner began with an enrapturing conversation that became absurd as Lily continued to drink. Woozy, afterward, on the sofa, I stared numbly into space, contemplating a future with her. Lily placed her hand on mine. She peered into my eyes, smiling gently. And then she forward. I turned my head away. Not discouraged, she began kissing my neck, sucking my earlobe, nibbling my skin. She straddled my lap and grabbed my head on both sides.

"No," I snapped, and turned my head away. Lily slapped me, hard.

"You little fucking creep."

"I'm sorry, Lily."

"Take off your clothes. Now." We both disrobed and I returned to the sofa. She grabbed my legs and tugged me into a sagging position then, facing the television, mounted me and impaled herself on my dick. I let out a low groan at her wet warmth as it enveloped me. "You will not leave until you cum in me," she in a stern voice incongruous with the situation.

"You're drunk," I told her

"No. Your dick is mine and I will have it spend itself in me tonight."

"Lily," I sighed wearily, fucking up into her. "Can't we behave like normal people."

"Like the normal people you see on television? That is an act."

I continued bucking up into her and she seemed to be stifling the urge to gyrate atop me. The warm heaven between her legs squeezed at my shaft and I twitched in arousal. My hands went to her sides and I put more effort into my thrusts, bucking up off the sofa, until she began letting out little noises, the sound of breath catching in her throat again and again and again. "Get on the floor," I said.

"Yes," Lily sighed and pulled off me and hunched up on the floor on knees and elbows. I thrust into her from behind, hard and fast. Lily jabbered encouragement as my tempo built until the juice running out of her pussy smacked wetly against my balls. The world had faded to a mere blur of need warmth, and the steady tempo of my hips crushing into her ass. All I knew was need, and in the need I heard a voice that I couldn't make out. It asked questions that I answered without understanding in what must have sounded like cries of passion. "Oh, God. Yes. Please." "I'll do anything." Next thing I felt was Lilly's hand slapping hard at my butt. I stopped and she turned and smiled at me.

"Let me make you feel good."

I pulled out of her and slumped down on the floor and she mounted me again, and again her wet pussy slid its lips down the shaft of my cock. I stared up into vanity fueled, drunken eyes as she began to ride me. Then something clicked in my head and I snapped out of the moment, off somewhere else. I watched and saw her eyes and begged, begged to be saved from my own life. She shook her head and leaned forward, angling her gyrations as I helplessly fucked up against her. "This is me," she said. "You'll learn." And still she fucked me as I watched those pleased eyes. I cried out as I neared orgasm, cries that built over half a minute to a shout, and cum spewed out of my cock in spurts. "Good boy. You'll learn." She leaned close. "I am always right, and . . . " she moved to kiss me and I jerked my head away. Again she slapped me. "Get the fuck out!"

The angel spoke to me that night as well. "Refuse to talk on the phone. Only talk in person."

Of course, early the next morning, my telephone rang. "I'm sorry about last night," Lily's voice began on the other end. "I had too much to drink. How do you feel today?"

"I'm sorry, Lily. I can't really talk right now." I hung up. Evening came and I was desperate to speak with her so I went downtown to the library. Climbing up and down stairs, walking down the rows of shelves, I couldn't find her. Finally, on the ground floor, I looked up and saw her through the glass of a conference room two floors above. I ran up the stairs to her. Pushing to door open, I didn't have a chance to get a word out of my mouth before she spoke.

"I was wondering if you'd have the perseverance."

"I've been desperate to talk to you all day."

"Desperate?" She turned back to the pile of papers she was sorting through, leaning over the table. Her backside swayed back and forth slightly.

I couldn't help it. Growing hard, I moved forward and pressed into her from behind, letting her feel my stiffening dick.

"I'm not drunk," she said.

"I don't care."

She spun around to rebuff me and I kissed her. "I want to fuck. I want to come home," I mumbled.

"You love me, don't you?"

I stepped away, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "I wouldn't call it that."

She laughed lightly, her form shaking with it. "You asshole. You dumb, dumb asshole. Look, if you want to call it love, call it love. If you want me, you want me." Lily moved to turn off the conference room lights, rendering us invisible behind the glass. "Because I love you," she said in my ear."

I caressed her absentmindedly as I watched the patrons in the rows below. Lily was working at my tie and, once it was off, complete dark descended when she tied it around my head. There were no words for the longest time, just sensations, buttons being unfastened, a hard, hot nipple on my chest, a firm hand swatting my ass. And my dick grew for all of it, twitching and leaking, a hand sliding loosely over it, a hard swat on my ass, then something cool between the cheeks, and blunt, pushing into me painfully.

"Christ, Lily, fuck me, make me cum, please, anything," I begged.

Then I felt her behind me, her whole body pressed into me, the light laugh, throatier, in my ear. "You've been so good, so patient." Her hand wrapped around my cock. "All good things to those who wait," she said and began thrusting into me, timing the strokes of her hand with the fucking motion of her hips. I staggered and struggled to remain upright and gasps and whines chimed with Lily's humming and disjointed words, "You beg . . .. I win . .. I'm everything . .. when I ask, you love me . . . and when you love me, you cum . . . . do you love me?"

"I don't know," I sputtered and my dick began to soften.

Lily bit into my shoulder and her humming rose in pitch. I staggered and struggled, caught in a strange, dark world. My hips bucked with the pleasure gnawing into me, fiery lightning on my dick and a grip behind its base. My whole body came alive but I was barely within it. Sensation and emotion, rejection and confusion, desperation, submission and finally my voice babbling, "I love you, Lily. I don't know. I don't know. I love you." I came all over the floor, not really aware until then that I was bent over at the hips. Lily left me in the dark to dress myself.

The angel returned in the night. "Ask to be held," she cooed. "You want to be held, don't you?"

Lily and I remained in contact with manic intensity, but couldn't find any time for each other for three days. I didn't touch myself for those three days out of a sense of loyalty to her. When she opened the door to her apartment, I saw the desire in her eyes. Immediately, pushing her back in through the door, I kissed her. She broke free after a moment and I started to speak. She shushed me and pointed down at her crotch. I started to speak again, to tell her that I wanted to be held, but she cut me off with "tut-tut-tut" and another point.

"Would you let me eat your pussy, Lily?" I asked. "I want to hear turn you, to make you wet, to hear you moan, to taste your wetness on my tongue, to draw out the poison and the honey until you're beyond worry. Can I do that for you?"

Lily only smiled and walked off into the bedroom I had not yet seen. I stripped off her clothes and tried to gently ease her down on the bed, but she sat at its edge instead. So I kneeled on the floor and spread her legs. My tongue parted her lips slowly, bathing itself in the damp wet. Opening her with my fingers, I began to work at her clit, drawing back to savor other parts of her beautiful pussy and to let her calm before returning to that seemingly insignificant protrusion of flesh that I knew brought her so much pleasure, knew by the way her fingers tightened in my hair, knew by the way her hips ground slowly into my face, knew by her moaning pants. When her body went rigid and shook, I still didn't stop until she lightly pushed me away.

"What were you trying to say earlier?" she asked with a wide grin.

I frowned. "I just want to be held."

Lily just stared. "Get comfortable. I'll be back in a minute."

I stripped off my clothes and curled up on the bed, in a loose fetal position, facing the wall. I shook a little, nervous and weak. The footsteps, the shifting on the bed behind me, Lily's lips on my shoulder, kissing me, her hands, then something in my butt, something small, and the sense of fluid pouring out of it. I didn't object. I knew what was about to happen but I didn't object when I felt the head of the dildo at the entrance to my tunnel, and her push into me. And then nothing. Then she held me, her breasts pressed into my back, one arm holding me snuggly.

"This is more than I expected."

"Shhhh." The rubber cock moved slowly in and out once. "I love you."

And she held me and she fucked me, and I talked. I talked about the past, about pain and disappointment, lost dreams. And even when I wept, my cock hard and leaking, hers ramming in and out of me, and I begged to cum, begged her to touch me, she wouldn't. When I was finally spent, when I had nothing more to confess, Lily began kissing my back and thrusting with an even tempo. Emotionally spent, caught up in the sensation, I moaned for her. The moans added to my pleasure, and the moans encouraged her to fuck me harder. When I snapped out of the moment, I heard nothing but the sound of my own voice. "Fuck me. God, Lily. Take my ass. Do you want me to cum for you? Do you want to fuck a nice, big load of cum out of me? You're doing it. You're doing it so fucking good." Her hand tightened around my neck and I fell silent, sliding back into the unreal separateness of mind and body. A gurgling arose in my throat as my asshole clenched firmly around her cock, and my own semi-erect dick began oozing copious amounts of cum. It continued for what felt like minutes, a long, slow release of pleasure.

Lily slowed when the gurgling stopped, settling into a soft rhythm that left me lying there with her, in her arms, without a thought in my head except that she knew me better than anyone, and she loved me. Basking in her love and my peace, I started to wonder again whether it had been an angel or a devil.